i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
