Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
