physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
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