I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
