ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
