she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
