i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Do you remember whose house we're in?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
