I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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