my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
