a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
organizing the empties. That sober.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
