Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
