My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
