covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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