Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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