Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
