going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
