ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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