Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
