just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
