Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
