Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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