Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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