he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
