dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
