He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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