do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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