guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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