I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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