Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
