I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
