mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
