the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I think i got beer on your cat.
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