i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
