My balls are so social today.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
