think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
