he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
