There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
