i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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