We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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