actually, I'm a sock model
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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