is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I need moral support for this bender
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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