i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
