did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
