What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
