theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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