I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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