If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
