New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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