I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
