Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
