Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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