i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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