the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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