i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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