This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
