glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
