Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
