it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
