Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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