im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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